Monthly Archives: September 2009

Can a robot spread happiness?

Automated spammers – “spambots” – on Twitter are a royal pain in the arse.

They descend like vultures on the most popular topics of discussion, swamping them with ad-filled nonsense and making meaningful searches impossible.

But what if those same Twitter spambots were reprogrammed to work for good, not evil?

I had a taste of this yesterday.

Minutes after I’d retweeted a message containing the word “depressed”, I got this @reply:

It turns out @thehappy365 is a cheery spambot, programmed to spot gloomy words in other Twitter users’ tweets, and automatically fire off a jovial “hey, chin up!” reply to them.

I had to admit this idea was cute. And – strangely – I also had to admit the “big hug” message had made me just the tiniest bit happier.

Did this make me a freak? Or are other people equally susceptible to this kind of thing?

Of course, the genius of Twitter is that we never need to hypothesise: the evidence is out there, searchable. So I did a spot of research, scanning recent replies to @thehappy365. How did random strangers react when the (ahem) “Happy Monster” suggested they “put away the sad face and have some chocolate”?  Or “turn that frown upside down”?

I found nine types of response.

1. Grateful 





2. Really grateful






3. Pensive




4. Pessimistic





5. Aggrieved




6. Admonishing




7. Irate




8. Abusive / Threatening




9. Obscene


Truly, as they used to say, all human life is here.

Hearteningly, though, of all nine categories the second (genuinely chuffed) was by far the most prevalent – I only have space to include a snapshot of those replies here. There were dozens. It was difficult to judge how much sarcasm was involved, but my sense was: not much.

My conclusion – perhaps you can generate true happiness, however shortlived and trivial, via tiny, automated random acts of kindness like this.

And in truth, a computer script is probably better positioned than a warm-blooded human (or even monster) to take the knockbacks from those who respond less than positively.

But there’s a postscript.

Half an hour after I started writing this, I spotted the following tweet from the Happy Monster.


It appears the bot chooses one lucky individual, at a regular interval of six hours, to receive a perfume ad.

Oh, man. This changes everything.

What if this whole endeavour is simply an attempt to analyse how well – or badly – a selection of individual “cheer up” phrases are received by a random selection of humans?  So someone somewhere can ensure goods and services can be flogged to the miserable with laser-guided precision?

Say it’s not so, Happy Monster. You had my trust… for an internet minute.

Rodigan kill a sound

Today marks the start of Westwood’s tenure on 1Xtra’s drivetime show (“my first ever day job” as he cutely describes it).

What better excuse to wheel out one of my favourite clips ever? Yes, it’s the other 50-something white Englishman who’s carved out an unlikely, but copper-bottomed career at the heart of the UK black music scene.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you Sir David “RamJam” Rodigan! Fiyaaaahhhh!

Too much art

The latest Word Magazine podcast is all about record shops – the weirdos who work there, and the weirdos who shop there. At one time or another I’ve counted myself in both of these categories.

One part of the podcast discussion rang especially true for me: the 80s/90s tourist phenomenon of “I’m in London for the day, so I’ll go to Virgin/HMV on Oxford Street and try to find That CD I’ve Been After For Ages”.

I did this for years, always with a list in my head of albums (or even just songs) I would one day lay my hands on.

My ultimate example: a record by Brazilian artist Chico Buarque.

chico_sleeveface_editI was introduced to Buarque – a musician, novelist and playwright with a fascinating life story – by a TV documentary in about 1991. From all the tracks played during the programme one stood out: Construção, title track of a radical 1971 album which railed against the exploitation of Brazilian workers.

It became… well, not quite my life’s work to find this record, but not far off.

On trips to London I’d visit Virgin and scan their racks of World Music CDs. No dice. I did the same at HMV. No luck there either. Even my subsequent job on the Specialist counter at Virgin Sheffield (with access to every obscure music supplier known to man) didn’t help.

Now fast forward 18 years to the present day. The situation I’ve described is almost unimaginable.

I’ve long since bought Construção on iTunes. And today it’s also available on YouTube in multiple versions – ranging from the original with new imagery, to a live reinterpretation from 2006, to (my favourite) a version with translated lyrics which, while imperfect, allow me to understand the song’s poetic genius even without a working grasp of Portuguese.

Music consumption (and saturation) has truly moved through 180 degrees.

Today I have Spotify on my home PC’s desktop. A quick search has just revealed 170 Chico Buarque tracks available for me to listen to instantly, for free (albeit ad-supported). I like the idea of browsing through these, but struggle to imagine when I’ll have the chance to.

I have a year’s ad-free, cost-free subscription to Spotify’s UK competitor We7 (provided because I’d signed up for e-mail updates from Music Week and was, presumably – wrongly – considered a useful industry contact). Have I ever used it? No.

And now, just by installing Spotify’s iPhone app, I’d able to access millions of tracks spanning every genre – anytime, anywhere – for ten quid a month.  The 1992 me would have broken down and wept at the amazing opportunity this represents. And yet I hesitate to take the plunge.

Why? Not because of the financial cost (so much music for so little cash is such good value, it’s almost a joke).

I hesitate because of the cost to my one truly scarce resource. Time.

tonarm_editNot only would I struggle to find enough hours in the day to properly appreciate the breadth of music on offer via Spotify… but the weight of opportunity, and my inability to properly exploit it, would actually leave me feeling worse than I did when I couldn’t get hold of my musical tastes for love nor money.

This from someone who has a reasonably long commute each weekday – but one that’s now thoroughly eaten into by podcasts. Podcasts which span the whole range of professionalism (major broadcasters; independent podcasters with a range of shows; amateur individuals with single productions driven by a real passion for their subject matter; hundreds inbetween). I can reach all of them with equal ease via iTunes and XML – and that’s exactly what I do.

If you’d have told me 10 years ago that I’d experience an overabundance of music while still in my 30s, I’d never have believed you.

This will surely be a generational change. In some deep-seated way, I still think of “music” as some reasonably finite world that I should be able to hold in my head, then make listening choices from. When this is impossible or impractical (i.e. when the whole world’s recorded music output is in my pocket), I start to feel stressed: what psychologist Barry Schwartz calls “the paradox of choice“.

My kids, I suspect, think of music as an artistic equivalent of Dave Winer’s “river of news” – sit on the shores and see what comes by. Missed something? Don’t worry – if it’s important, it’ll come by again.

These are fascinating times.

Entertainment for Thursday night, on BBC1

I hardly watch any “live” TV these days – apart from in hotels, where there’s no other option.  Pretty much everything else is timeshifted, thanks to Sky+, so schedules don’t mean much anymore.

But remember when the schedule was everything?

Remember when an announcer (in “moderately-excited expectation” mode) would voice a menu at the start of each evening’s viewing?

Actually, for all I know, it may still happen. But I bet it isn’t done quite like this.

BBC1, 1984

What a line-up! I can’t wait to finally set my VCR clock so I can tape Electronic Office. (Not We Got It Made, though, that looks like dreck.)

Look Around You, 2005

Only one programme could satirise something so trivial, yet so deep-seated in the cultural memory of a generation. Hats off to Look Around You‘s Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper.

BBC VT Christmas Tape, 1979

The Christmas Tape is a fine broadcasting tradition, and the BBC’s in 1979 (aka Good King Memorex) is legendary.

For reasons of language and mild nudity, this is Not Safe For Work. Unless you work in VT, of course – in which case, fill your boots.

The Sugababes Paradox

In his peerless book of brainy meditations on pop, A Year With Swollen Appendices, Brian Eno considers the issue of authenticity. What is it? And when is it lost?

Eno cites the apocryphal tale of George Washington’s axe:

This is Washington’s original axe. Its head has been replaced twice, and its handle three times.

In centuries to come, logicians and philosophers will have a new conundrum to ponder: The Sugababes Paradox.

Did the north-west London trio stop being Sugababes when Siobhan left? Probably not. How about when Mutya did one? Not really.

But with Keisha apparently slinging her hook with immediate effect, surely The All New Sugababes (containing, as they do, precisely 0% of the original line-up) can no longer really be Sugababes?

Of course they can. In the wonderful, innately inauthentic world of pop, any or all of them could be replaced by singing dwarves, Trappist monks or crossdressing Portuguese postal workers – and if their management decided to call the result Sugababes, then Sugababes they shall be.

In fact the really interesting prospect is what will happen 20 years down the line, when all former members sue each other for the use of the name and develop competing careers playing working men’s clubs as The Original Sugababes, Heidi Range’s Sugababes, Mutya And The Sugarbabes… you get the gist.

So instead of quibbling, let’s take a moment to recall two true gems which have emerged from their camp over the years.

First, unquestionably their finest moment as a group: the classic, original line-up with their debut single Overload.

The second clip comes courtesy of the first band member to fly the nest, Siobhan Donaghy.

Donaghy’s solo blend of miserable, slightly difficult pop has been steadfastly refusing to trouble the charts since 2003. This is her best single to date, Overrated. I’m a fan.

God bless the Sugababes’ legacy, and the thousands who’ve worked to create it!

Moogie wonderland

I have a new favourite album: Electric Love by The Electric Concept Orchestra.

It’s typical of a genre I like to call Moogsploitation.

Unfamiliar with the term? This MySpace page handily explains all:

In 1968, the all-Moog Synthesizer album Switched On Bach was released. While the modular synthesizer had been around for up to 3 years previous to this release, it was this release which exposed the unique and beautiful sound of the Moog Synthesizer to the general public. The general public was enthralled… which made dollar-signs in the eyes of music producers everywhere. Between 1968 and about 1974, there was a torrent of albums released featuring the new audio technology. Sadly (or not so sadly), many of these releases were overly-sugary, hastily recorded, and massively exploitative.

I remember my parents owning one such album – an LP of Scott Joplin ragtime music played on desperately low-rent synths, probably purchased from Tesco’s homeware department for 35p (the album, that is, not the synthesisers). You can find other Moogsploitation gems on YouTube – like this queasy electronic take on Wichita Lineman from the Moog-with-a-stetson-on album Nashville Gold.

So with this questionable lineage, Electric Love should be absolute garbage, right?

Wrong. I think it’s quite gorgeous. And if you like woozy, string-soaked electronica, you may well do too.

Plaudits for the video go to YouTube user cosmocorps2000 – I’ll be highlighting more of her inspirational stuff in weeks to come. And if you’d like to hear the whole album, try here.

Take me home, loathsome road

For a while in the 90s, I used to drive from Sheffield to Cambridge and back every weekend: a round trip of 258 miles.

This meant becoming closely familiar with the A1 – a road that’s now the focus of an absorbing photoblog on the BBC website.

The A1 used to fascinate me, but only in the grim way that I’m drawn to anything that smacks of the 70s.

Compared to motorways, where I was used to driving, it felt like a shambolic, forgotten afterthought. Two lanes. Crap road surface. Feeling peckish? You were spoilt for choice – as long as your choice was a run-down Little Chef, McDonalds or greasy spoon. There were seemingly thousands of those.

This was about 12 years ago. Judging by Phil Coomes’ images from his photographic roadtrip, very little has changed since.

The Unsung Heroes of Tape

In this digital age I’m perversely proud to say I know how to edit bits of tape together.

Now, this might seem like an archaic skill, but who knows when it will come in handy? Could be next year, could be next decade – but when your PC falls over and you’re on a deadline (be it journalistic or musical), you’ll be glad I’m there with my block, single-edged razorblade and chinagraph pencil. Oh yes.

With this in mind, today’s update is dedicated to some of the world’s Unsung Heroes of Tape. People who innovated the hard way, so we could one day reach the same editing goals by simply sitting on our asses and pressing ctrl-x.

John Baker was a member of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop from 1963-1974. An accomplished pianist and composer, Baker’s forte was creating intricate, multilayered pieces of music using natural sounds.

He did this by recording the sounds, playing them at various speeds (to create different pitches), re-recording the results, then editing hundreds – if not thousands – of tiny tape snippets together to create melodies, harmonies and basslines.

As someone imbued with very little patience, just the idea of this makes me want to gnaw my own knuckles off. (It’s the musical equivalent of stop-frame animation.) You can hear a fantastic insight into John Baker’s working processes via this 1960s clip from Woman’s Hour.

In the 80s some of my favourite hip-hop/soul records were edited by a brilliant engineer, Chep Nuñez.

Nuñez turned the simple act of splicing pop songs together (as producers had been doing for years, to create shortened 7″ mixes, or extended 12″ versions) into a defined artform – by chopping and rearranging tracks in imaginative, staccato, rhythmic bursts.

The closest I can get to explaining how this worked/sounded is via the video below, from Dutch producer Julius Thyssen (who was doing something similar back in the 80s, albeit not so well-developed).

Skip to 1:38 in this video and watch the white splicing tape fly past the heads. Each flash of white is an individual edit. Incredible stuff.

My final clip is dedicated to anybody who ever had to edit video on a 2″ machine.

Ever complained about the pain of compiling a package via Avid, or Premiere Pro, or Final Cut? Watch this piece of film from the 60s and be thankful you don’t have to use a microscope to do your daily work.

Why my Wired subscription wasn’t free

An interesting nugget from my current reading: Chris Anderson’s Free – The Future of a Radical Price.

It’s about something I did recently for the first time in years – subscribing to a print magazine.  The magazine, Wired UK; the cost, almost indecently low. 

How, Anderson asks, can selling a year’s subscription to a monthly publication for, say, $10 when the magazine has a coverprice of $4.95, make economic sense – even bearing in mind the added newsstand costs of taking back and pulping unsold copies?

The actual cost of printing and mailing twelve issues to your home is $15, and when you add the cost of acquiring you as a subscriber in the first place, that can add up to more than $30 per year per subscriber… The advertising makes up the difference, so that $10 of direct revenues from the subscription is topped up by the advertiser. Advertising makes a loss-leading subscription model profitable. And if the subscriber stays for three years or more, even the acquisition costs are repaid, making them more profitable yet.

But if the publisher’s able to subsidise its subscribers by more than 60 percent, asks Anderson, surely it could go all the way to 100% and make the subscription free? “Ah, now we’re getting into psychology.”

The simple answer is that the act of writing a check or entering a credit card number, regardless of the amount, is an act of consumer volition that completely changes how an advertiser sees a reader. Writing a check for any amount (even 1 cent) means that you actually want the magazine, and will presumably read it and treasure it when it arrives. In fact advertisers will pay as much as five times more to be part of that relationship than they’ll pay for a free magazine that may be treated as junk mail [...] How did publishers arrive at $10? [...] It is the lowest sum that is not too low to devalue the product. Lower is better for subscribers, since the less they have to pay, the more likely they are to sign up. But higher is better for advertisers, because the more a consumer pays for a product, the more they value it.

This kind of calculation fascinates me – hence why this blogpost still pops into my head every time I check into a hotel (and scan the room for biscuits).

Please release me

Robbie Williams’ new video is now on YouTube.

Or rather, 30 seconds of his new video is. The full song’s on the site too – but only in a low quality version.

The full video’s not being “premiered” until 08:30BST on Wednesday. And, according to EMI, if you want to go to the shops and buy a copy, you will have to wait until 12 October.

That’s 37 days away.

Now, Robbie Williams is a mainstream star with continuing appeal across all age ranges (at least, EMI hopes so). And for most people above 30, the idea of a release date still retains some currency: it’s the day I can pick up the CD in Tesco or Asda along with my weekly shop.

For everyone else, release dates are effectively meaningless. The first moment someone somewhere in the world gets a digitally distributable copy of anything = its release date. It’s out there, downloadable. And that’s that – month-long pre-release campaign, or no month-long pre-release campaign.

Image by swanksalot at flickr.comSince we’re counting days, I calculate that the music industry has lived through 3,749 of them since the first mainstream digital music service was born.

That’s 10 years, three months and four days of corporate torpor and (more recently) panic. Recorded music sales have plummeted, and peer-to-peer copying has skyrocketed – but nothing has fundamentally changed in the way record companies operate.

I subscribe to Digital Music News. It’s a brilliantly written, even-handed daily précis of the state of the US music biz. Every day brings a new story of a forthcoming album that’s leaked across torrents worldwide, satiating demand before the labels have even attempted to do so themselves. The most recent is Jay-Z’s Blueprint 3:

The highly anticipated album slipped nearly two weeks prior to its in-store, despite tight security.  And the leak, first tipped by BigChampagne, had been feared for some time.  In fact, it was reported back in June that Jay-Z had planned on delivering the final product to Atlantic Records in London – in person – to avoid such a slip.

The issue has deeper roots within the highly-collaborative process that surrounds hip-hop production, often under the supervision of a super-producer [...] Famous producers frequently employ a coterie of beat-makers to create the final product.  Combine a connected, collaborating team with ubiquitous internet access, and leaks become almost inevitable.

In the early 90s when I worked as singles buyer for Virgin Megastore in Sheffield, a big Securicor truck used to turn up at about 8.30 every Monday morning with the new releases. In a chain, we’d hump the boxes upstairs to the stockroom.

It was then a race against time to get them all priced, security-tagged and racked out before the store opened at 9. For a major release like an Oasis or an REM, this was a major effort that meant drafting in extra staff. And heaven forbid HMV should have their stock out before us.

It wasn’t until the late 90s that the record labels were persuaded to deliver the damn things on a Friday instead, so we’d at least have Saturday to process them. This was the result of a gentleman’s agreement between the retailers and the labels that we wouldn’t break the embargo and sell anything early. With very few exceptions, this agreement was respected – primarily because the labels could monitor what was sold via chart return information, and threaten to withhold future stock from anyone who broke ranks.

As I type this little scenario from memory, I can’t quite believe it was all so recent. From the viewpoint of the recorded music world today, it feels like the stone age.

But all the evidence suggests the music industry still has its head in that era.

The peerless Look Around You team, as always, have it exactly right (below).