Category Archives: Branding

A morning with Paul Smith


When I was 16 and got my first job, the first thing I saved up for was a Paul Smith shirt from his shop in Nottingham – a five minute walk from the café where I worked.

That shop, just off Bridlesmith Gate on Byard Lane, was the same cramped boutique Smith had opened in 1970 to launch his retail career. It was still there when I started work in 1987 – by which point the designer’s London business had spread to four locations – and it’s still there in 2011 as part of what’s now a huge global chain. (There are over 200 Paul Smith stores in Japan alone.)

If I suggested that Smith keeping his original shop open to this day was testament to a lack of pretention, or that he’d “never lost his roots”, you’d probably think that was bullshit.

Unless, that is, you’ve ever seen him interviewed.

I defy you to watch the 20 minute video below and not fall in love with the guy and his genuine, unvarnished enthusiasm for life, design, cycling and – especially – silliness. It may just set you up for the year ahead.

Personally I’m most in love with the fact he’s never lost his Nottingham accent. The idea of Sir Paul asking Karl Lagerfeld “y’alright mi duck?” will never get old.

Proud? Really?

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Sign: "We are proud to accept only Visa"

From the window of the London 2012 shop at St Pancras station.

Is it just me, or is this a complete sponsor own-goal?

I know what they’re trying to say. “Visa is the passport to a world of exciting, exclusive events.”

All I hear is: ”For reasons best known to ourselves, we’re going to make it harder than necessary to buy crap from this shop.”

I have a Visa card and this doesn’t make me any more enthused about the brand. In fact, given that they’ve presumably paid for this arrangement, it just makes me think they’re daft.

Please notify my next of kin

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In one of my very first posts on here, I talked about how I’m obsessed by epic failures in business and media.

So with Microsoft’s new Windows Phone 7 platform getting uncharacteristically good reviews from just about everyone, naturally my thoughts turned to a less glorious moment from the company’s recent history: the Kin phone.

I still can’t quite believe that what happened with the Kin really happened. You can read one rendition of the full story here, but here’s the digest version if you’re pushed for time:

2008 – Microsoft buy Danger, maker of the Sidekick (legendarily the phone which helped Paris Hilton to leak her address book).

2008-2010 – Using Danger’s people and technology as a starting point, Microsoft develop a secret phone project called Pink.

Total cost of development: $2bn.

April 2010 – The phone is launched under the product name Kin.

48 days later – Microsoft throw the whole thing in the bin and discontinue it.

There’s little doubt that the phone was a commercial failure on launch – and no shortage of theories as to why that was.

In reality, its almost immediate removal from the shelves probably had more to do with Microsoft’s reluctance to allow it to steal focus from Windows Phone 7 than anything else.

But it still fascinates me that the company was so dysfunctional that it ever let the thing come out in the first place, if it was to be scythed down so quickly afterwards. (The story probably tells us something about the psychology of over-large organisations –  prone to lack of communication, silo-based working, and in-fighting. But that’s a whole other blog post.)

The Kin’s marketing was something else: super-styled graphics, clever-clever phraseology all over its packaging, and verging-on-tryhard ads featuring the kinds of hipsters Microsoft hoped would be all over this device. They really, really pushed the boat out.

Which it why it’s especially brutal that the the Kin website now looks like this. Ouch.

(The original homepage code is still there, by the way: it’s just commented out.)

But don’t worry, if you’re one of – say – the 5,113 people who’ve actually connected your (now collector’s item) Kin to Facebook, you can still get help here… while the rest of us marvel at how much time, effort and money went down the toilet on this thing.

A life in logos

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Legendary TV producer Steven J Cannell has, I learn, died at the age of 69.

I say “legendary TV producer” –  in reality I know as much about Mr Cannell as he knew about me.  (I just did some research. He created the A Team, Rockford Files and about a dozen other US TV classics.)

So why am I so saddened by the news?

In my last post (about the movie This Is It) I posited that Michael Jackson’s company had “literally the most bad-ass ident in corporate history”.  I wouldn’t go back on that, except to say:

  • Stephen J Cannell ran a very close second, and
  • For sheer brilliance in keeping his ident refreshed, both visually and musically, over several decades, Mr Cannell deserves special acclaim.

If you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, watch this, and experience vicariously what Paul Weller would call the “ever-changing moods” of one TV mogul. Relaxed. Amused. Aggressive. Bearded. They’re all here.

The Cannell ident was such a part of US pop culture it was memorably spoofed by Family Guy (not available online anywhere I can link to, sadly).

It also provided inspiration for the final moments of The Greatest Music Video in recent pop history: Justice’s DVNO.

I could write 10,000 words about why I adore this video, but thankfully I’m not going to. (Plenty of people did, though, when it first appeared. You have to love a music promo which inspires praise like: “This [scene] nicely displays the pros and cons of tightly spacing and stacking Eurostile Extended.”)

Plaudits to the creative geniuses behind it, stellar French types SoMe and Machine Molle.

Modern packaging drives me nuts: Part 4

I’ve just read an interesting take from Russell M Davies on my long-running pet hate – overly matey language on packaging and marketing materials.

Writing in the latest Wired UK, Russell says:

I get loads of phishing spam; messages from my bank advising me that my security has been breached and that I should log in immediately to resolve the situation. How do I know it’s spam? Mostly because of the language, because every email gets the nuances of English usage slightly wrong. It’s not necessarily the grammar, it’s the deferential tone.

The phishers are too polite, assuming that banks have Honoured Customers and are Greatly Pleased to be Doing Business with us. They’ve not understood that most banks have decided not to be our servants, but our mates. They’ve ditched fake formality for faux friendliness. Which is worrying, because all the phishers need to do is hire a decent copywriter, or any English graduate with a reasonable ear.

That’d be a good alternative to the TEFL year wouldn’t it? Sit at home, proof-reading phishing mails, tightening up the language to match illicitly obtained brand guidelines and sound a bit like the back of an Innocent smoothie bottle. Just think – all that sits between us and enough embezzlement to force the total collapse of the global finance system is the laziness of English-literature students.

Davies is right, of course – even banks are at it these days.

The primary example is Barclays, who revamped their signage and literature in 2006 to adopt a new, friendlier tone of voice. Not such a bad idea, except some of the results have been clunky to say the least (you can read Charlie Brooker’s less measured thoughts here).

Take this example – a Barclays pen dispenser.

No quibbles with the first line. But all that “your place or mine” stuff? Just plain weird.

I understand, of course, what Barclays are trying to say with this wording (mainly ’cause I recall the revamp being sold in the press at the time as “an end to pens on chains“).

So how about this instead?

Need a pen? Be our guest.
You can keep it if you like.

It’s simple, it’s graspable in the split-second you’re likely to spend putting your hand into the box, and it’s still friendly. But I’m sure it’d be rejected by the client as quirkless: lacking the all-important Innocent factor.

I’m not sure whether or not this is the company which helped Barclays create these results, but Afia are “tone of voice specialists” who name Barclays as one of their clients. On their page about the bank (I’d link to it, but the whole site is in Flash, so I can’t) somebody (who isn’t named) has this to say:

There are a variety of activities that we can employ to get the tone of voice used throughout the organisation. I think of them as top-down and bottom-up, or air strike and ninja insertion.

I promise I’m not making this up.

Spot the social media fake

If you visit MySpace – or any other website which uses the AddThis service – you’ll see a button marked “Share”.

Click this button and you’ll have the ability to share something from that site onto a huge plethora of other social networks.

So many other networks, in fact, that the list almost looks like a joke.

Here, then, is today’s challenge. Can you spot the fake social network from the list below?

Every service listed here is – apparently – real.  Except for one. Which I just made up and slipped in there. (Note to venture capitalists: If you’d like to buy this one from me, please ask your people to talk to my people. Estimated market value $888bn, as of 5pm today.)

That list in full:

.netShoutout
100zakladok
A1‑Webmarks
Adifni
Aero
AIM Share
Amazon
Amen Me!
AOL Mail
Arto
Ask
Aviary Capture
Baidu
Bebo
Bit.ly
BizSugar
Bleetbox
Blinklist
Blip
Blogger
Bloggy
Blogmarks
Bobrdobr
BonzoBox
Bordom
Box.net
Brainify
Bryderi.se
BuddyMarks
Buzz
Camyoo
Care2
Cirip
CiteULike
ClassicalPlace
Clickazoo
Colivia.de
Connotea
COSMiQ
Delicious
DesignBump
Designmoo
Digg
Diggita
Diglog
Digo
Diigo
Dipdive
DoMelhor
Doower
Dosti
DotNetKicks
Dropjack
Dzone
Edelight
eKudos
eLert Gadget
Email
Email App
Embarkons
euCliquei
Evernote
Fabulously40
Facebook
Fark
Farkinda
FAVable
Faves
Favorites
Favoritus
Flaker
Floss.pro
Fnews
Folkd
Fresqui
FriendFeed
Friendster
funP
fwisp
Gabbr
Gacetilla
GamesN
GlobalGrind
GluvSnap
Gmail
Google
Google Reader
Gravee
Grumper
Haber.gen.tr
Hacker News
Hadash Hot
Hatena
Hazarkor
Hedgehogs.net
HelloTxt
HEMiDEMi
Hipstr
Hitmarks
Hot Bookmark
Hotklix
Hotmail
HTML Validator
Hyves
Identi.ca
Instapaper
InvestorLinks
Jamespot
Jubberjabber
Jumptags
Kaboodle
Kaevur
KiRTSY
Kledy
koornk
Kudos
Laaikit
Librerio
Link Ninja
Link-a-Gogo
LinkedIn
Linkuj.cz
Live
Livefavoris
LiveJournal
Lunch.com
Lynki
Meccho
meinVZ
Memori.ru
Menéame
Mindbodygreen
Mister Wong
Mixx
Multiply
myAOL
Mylinkvault
MySpace
N4G
NetLog
Netvibes
Netvouz
NewsTrust
Newsvine
Nujij
OKNOtizie
Oneview
Orkut
Osmosus
Oyyla
PDF Online
PhoneFavs
PimpThisBlog
Ping.fm
Planypus
Plaxo
Plurk
Polladium
Posterous
Print
PrintFriendly
Propeller
Pusha
Quantcast
Read It Later
Reddit
Scoop.at
Segnalo
Sekoman
Shaveh
She Told Me
Simpy
Slashdot
Smak News
SodaHead
Sonico
Speedtile
Sphinn
springpad
Spruzer
Squidoo
Startaid
Startlap
Strands
studiVZ
Stuffpit
StumbleUpon
Stumpedia
Stylehive
Surfpeople
Svejo
Symbaloo
Tagza
Technorati
TellMyPolitician
ThisNext
Tip’d
Transferr
Translate
Tulinq
Tumblr
Tusul
TweetMeme
Twitter
Typepad
Viadeo
Virb
Vyoom
Webnews
Whois Lookup
Windy Citizen
WireFan
WordPress
Worio
Wovre
Wykop
Y! Bookmarks
Y! Mail
Yammer
Yardbarker
Yazzem
Yigg
Yoolink
Yorumcuyum
Youbookmarks
YouMob

Send in the trolls

Anyone who’s ever been involved in managing online communities will know what a troll is.

Just in case you don’t, here’s Wikipedia’s take:

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

But trolling isn’t confined to the web. In recent days we’ve seen some great examples of real-life, corporate trolling.

Ryanair are masters of this game. They adore winding everyone up, from bloggers to regulators, for no discernible reason other than – and I’m guessing here  - the fact that it’s incredibly good fun. Earnest blog posts from the public – like this one - which outline in hushed tones how Ryanair’s approach to PR could be construed as unfriendly and destructive must only make them wee their collective trousers with amusement.

Take today. Under the heartwarming headline Customers would like to see me dead, the Belfast Telegraph reports O’Leary’s view that:

“It will be a nicer, warmer, caring airline with me gone. I think half our passengers would like to see me dead and buried, actually, and eventually they’ll get what they want. Frankly, I couldn’t care less as long as they fly with us.” [...]
Asked about the qualities his successor would require he said: “All the qualities that I don’t have — sensitivity, passenger care, environmentally sensitive — all that kind of good, warm crap.”

Matching that level of provocation is no mean feat. The last 24 hours, though, have represented a highpoint in the history of corporate trolls.

Step forward Golden Goose PR, whose press release 5000 Festive Fatties Expelled From BeautifulPeople.com went nuclear this morning. It’s a brilliantly crass, targeted piece of writing about an “elite dating site” supposedly suspending members for having visibly over-indulged at Christmas.

Linking to even a fraction of the stories generated by this single release would take all evening, so I’ll invite you to view a sample via Google.

The press release reaches a crescendo with the one quote everyone reproduced (Michael O’Leary, for once you are bested here):

Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com, said: “As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”

Golden Goose are, I imagine, pleased with today’s response from the world’s media. Actually – we don’t need to imagine. Their corporate blog post earlier today enthused:

This mercinary culling has provoked mixed reactions on every media platform….we’re pleased to see that twitter is rife with reactions…

And demonstrating their understanding of just where the sweet spot in this piece of trolling lay, what was the search term they linked to on Twitter?

“fatties+roam”

Meanwhile BeautifulPeople.com itself is down at the time of writing, due – one can only assume – to excess traffic.

Somebody earned their pennies today.

Update 05/01: From Hitwise Intelligence – “UK Internet visits to the site increased fifty-fold yesterday. As a result, Beautiful People became the fifth most visited website in our Lifestyle – Dating category, up from 136th the day before.”

Rebrandage de luxe

When your product has become popularly known as “wifebeater”, that’s an image problem from the very top drawer.

So plaudits to Stella Artois for their current attempt to drag their brand back into the sophisticated territory it once inhabited.

A series of clips on their YouTube channel (execution by creative agency Mother) spoofs early 60s French TV shows with scalpel-like accuracy.

Reasons why I should like this campaign:

  • I drink Stella Artois and recognise it as a high quality lager which deserves an image improvement
  • I’m a Francophile
  • It’s funny
  • I used to watch a lot of Jean Luc Godard during my Pretentious Teenage Years (TM)

Reasons why I’m not sure if I do:

  • The recycling angle is utterly spurious
  • Stella Artois is Belgian anyway
  • The people at Mother look so sickeningly young, cool and Soho that I’m not sure whether to envy them or nominate them for (sweary link alert) latfh.com

Hmm. I’ll get back to you.

Why does Subway smell the way it does?

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Sometimes you just don’t need Google Maps or GPS.

There are two businesses on the high street which announce their location – pleasantly or obnoxiously, depending on your viewpoint – before you’ve even seen them. You simply need to follow your nose.

One is Lush, of which more another time. The second is Subway.

I used to walk past a Subway every morning on my way out of New Street station. It’s at the top of an escalator, but you only had to get halfway up before the restaurant was assaulting your nostrils: a delicious, herby bread smell. I never succumbed, but if I’d been walking past at lunchtime, I probably would’ve.

However subconsciously, Subway’s smell is as much a part of its brand as its famous logo, or the “Doctor’s Associates” copyright notice on its advertising.

(I always feel the latter detail is a sneaky attempt to give the brand – and its low-fat sarnies – a veneer of medical approval. Actually Doctor’s Associates – Subway’s holding company – is so named because one of its founders has a Ph.D in physics. But I digress.)

It’s not just the UK’s cities that find themselves shrouded in a sandwichy smog. The Subway aroma spans the globe – and it’s utterly consistent whether you’re in Moscow or Monmouthshire. Blogger Rifka Seltzer writes:

It smells EXACTLY the same on Grand Concourse in the Bronx as it does on Pacific Coast Highway in Laguna Beach. No matter where you go, Subway smells the same. And it smells strong. Actually, I noticed this when I was in Berlin. The Subway at the entrance of Ostbahnhof reeked of that…I don’t know…Subway smell.

Now, everyone knows retailers can, and do, pump carefully-chosen fragrances into their shops to drive sales and footfall. Here’s one device which can do the trick – with a range of cartridges available replicating everything from bacon (scent 127) and fresh ground coffee (88), to suntan lotion (110) and burning plastic (117), via the quite alarming-sounding smell of “internal horror” (1011).

And when I searched online, the first page I found about “That Subway Smell” suggested the signature bready odour “is clearly being pumped mercilessly out of the shop by wind turbines resembling jet engines”.

But this was a lone voice. No-one else concurred – not even the 1,346 members of the I Work(ed) At Subway And It Made Me Wanna Cut Myself Facebook group (who presumably should know). It would appear the smell is a genuine by-product of the baking process. Mark Evanier reports one Subway staff member as saying:

The problem is that despite what the ads might lead you to believe, Subway shops do not bake their own bread from scratch. They thaw and then bake frozen dough. I’m not sure if it’s in the thawing or the baking or both but the smell comes mostly from that. I realized that from working there and noticing when the smell was at its worst. It clings to the pans and racks that are used in the baking process and it also clings to the people who work there, as any of their family members will attest. I think it has something to do with the yeast in the dough.

I think it also comes partly from the marinara sauce with the meatballs in it, especially if we haven’t been selling a lot of meatball sandwiches that day. The longer the meatballs sit in that sauce, the more you can smell them throughout the shop. The smell you notice is a combination of those two fragrances.

In his pragmatically-titled 2007 post The Smell of a Subway Restaurant on Your Clothing is Inevitable After Eating There M. Marcus claimed the chain were actively trying to reduce the odour by:

installing more ceiling fans into their stores to have more ventilation. In addition, the entrance and exit doors are being left open so that fresh air can come in and the smell of fresh bread can go out.

Maybe this is the right idea – at least if you agree with one Australian blogger’s view that “the smell of yeast/herbs/bread makes Subway smell like someone farted”.

You may also be in favour of greater ventilation if you work there. Back to Facebook again, where “Amanda” writes:

DO NOT leave anything from work in your car.. I used to leave my visor in my car.. I cant anymore, my car seems to always smell like subway, and I am embarassed to have people in it… I CLEAN IT EVERY WEEK!!

Final word to Subway worker “Janine”, who appears to speak for many when she opines:

the smell of the whole place is enough to make me want to puke! i cant stand being anywhere with that smell on me.. and IT DOSENT GO AWAY! its in your hair even in your underwear! meatballs!! omg puke!!!

OMG puke indeed.

Anyway, hold on to your nostrils, because even if Subway aren’t deliberately shoving their emissions in your face, plenty of other people will be in future. There’s even a name for it: coercive atmospherics. Consider this 2006 experiment on behalf of the California Milk Processing Board:

A bus shelter usually isn’t the kind of place where people want to breathe deeply. But that may change in San Francisco next week at a few of the shelters that will be infused with the scent of fresh-baked, chocolate-chip cookies [...] The just-out-of-the-oven cookie bouquet will be embedded in scent-infused adhesive strips. They will be affixed throughout the interior of the shelters, including underneath the seats.

Just one day after their installation, the strips were removed, apparently due to allergy concerns. But as Jonathan Zittrain expounded, in truth San Franciscans’ concerns probably ran deeper than that:

Olfactory advertising is crossing a line [...] When it’s as easy as stickers, suddenly any place of public accommodation can assault your senses with whatever smell is paid for. Unlike the use of even large billboards, there’s no easy way to avert your nose the way you can avert your eyes, making the advertising much more invasive. Sure, magazines have those smelly perfume ads — but only once you’ve decided to open the magazine and try to read it.

Imagine, in other words, spam that really smells of SPAM.

You, my unfortunate friend, have sniffed the future.

Modern packaging drives me nuts: Part 3

From the back of a packet of (very nice) Tyrrells crisps:

Tyrrells packet

Which means what exactly?